


Veritas

by Krivoklatsko



Category: RWBY
Genre: Acid, Cocaine, Lizard, Multi, NSFW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:02:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7568203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krivoklatsko/pseuds/Krivoklatsko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ozluminati have a very serious meeting in Ozpin's tower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Veritas

Ozpin slumped low in his chair, a warm smile playing out between his glasses and scarf. James Ironwood and Qrow Branwen stood across the desk from him, their glares locked.  
“I just want you to take it back,” General Ironwood growled.  
“Jimmy, it was a joke. There’s nothing going on between me and Glynda.”  
“It’s a touchy subject for him,” Ozpin said.  
His smile was entirely not in tune with the conversation.  
“Well we both have history with her,” Ironwood said, “So I don’t think it’s appropriate to-“  
“Really?” Qrow asked.  
“You too, Jimmy? You and Glynda were a thing?”  
“Yes,” Ironwood sighed.  
“So was that before or after your robot phase?” Qrow pointed.  
James clenched his prosthetic fist, but kept enough of his wits to say, “That was when I got the nickname Ironwood.”  
“Oooooh, burn,” Ozpin purred. He busied his hands cutting lines of cocaine on the table.  
Qrow folded his arms.  
“Whatever. We’ll see who she wants more in a minute.”  
Qrow turned to Ozpin.  
“She’s coming soon, right?”  
“She likes to take her time,” Ironwood said.  
“She didn't with me,” Qrow quipped.  
Ozpin finished cutting the fourth line of cocaine, a fat, long thing like a giant albino centipede. Then the table bumped, and the lines scattered out.  
“Ow,” Glynda said.  
She crawled up Ozpin’s lap to stand, and turned to see what he’d prepared for her.  
“Oh my god,” Ironwood said.  
“You got a tattoo?” Qrow noted.  
“Oh, good,” Glynda said to the cocaine.  
Ozpin stuffed a heavy Lien note into Glynda’s skirt. She rolled it and brushed jizz from her upper lip to insert the cash straw in her nose. She spread her legs as far as her pencil skirt would allow, for balance, and stretched out over the table to suck that centipede into her lungs before it could wriggle away. Sadly, the lizard in her cleavage did escape. It slithered across the table, scattering the cocaine, and wriggling into a distant corner of the room. And Glynda was no match for the caterpillar. She sneezed into the cocaine.  
Qrow had twisted in his chair to watch the lizard run away. It climbed up into the perilous gears of the clockworks. Qrow stood to chase it, mumbling, “uh oh.”  
Ironwood stood as he had since the shock began. He didn’t move when Glynda stood and wobbled to him. Her face looked like a glazed donut dropped into a frosting bin.  
“Oh my god,” he repeated.  
Glynda dug a handkerchief out of his breast pocket and tried to catch the globs of spunk in her hair. Ozpin lit a cigar.  
“This is-“ Ironwood stammered- “Is it usually like this in Vale?”  
“Like what?” Qrow asked.  
He was bent over the safety railing, staring at one of the gears with great concern. He tried to snatch the lizard, but it slithered deeper into the machine.  
“Well, the cocaine is one thing. And starting the meeting late was another. And then Qrow, you bringing up… Past… Personal…”  
Glynda kept trying to lean into him for a kiss. The musk of Ozpin’s thick, dominant cock was just under his nose every time she got close.  
“This is all insane,” he managed to say.  
“Oh, this is nothing, Jimmy,” Glynda cooed, “Last week, Qrow snorted a whole ten-to-one scale map of Mountain Glenn in coke.”  
“That’s- Jesus, fuck-“ Ironwood sputtered.  
“Oh, you think that’s crazy?” Ozpin threatened.  
He hit the intercom on his desk.  
“Please summon a random student to my office immediately. Tell them it is of the utmost importance.”  
“Are we doing this again?” Qrow smiled.  
“Doing what?” Ironwood asked.  
“Oh this is a treat,” Glynda assured him, “Just play along.”  
The intercom buzzed, and a receptionist answered, “Headmaster, sir. You want me to summon a student?”  
Ozpin sighed and held the button down.  
“Yes.”  
“A random student?”  
“Yes. No! Summon Pyrrha Nikkos!”  
“Alright, Sir.”  
Ozpin released the button and gestured to Glynda.  
“Can we get some tea, as well?” Ozpin gestured to a cabinet.  
Glynda wobbled past him, asking, “Your usual?”  
“Yes. No. Double hit. And make something for Pyrrha, as well. James, help me clean this cocaine off the floor. It looks like I murdered one of those Atlas hookers in here. Again.”  
The intercom beeped, and the secretary said, “Headmaster? Miss Nikkos is in the elevator now.”  
“Shit,” Ozpin blurted.  
“Qrow, get the dustpan. Ironwood, Glynda take the stairs on the other side of the gears.”  
A minute later, the doors opened for the hero of Mistral. She stepped into the room with martial confidence and feminine grace. Ozpin calmly beckoned Pyrrha to his desk, his turgid erection not visible from her angle. Qrow was crouched behind the gears, all his attention focused on the lizard scrambling around inside the clock.  
The slow, methodical tick, tick, tick, gave the room an air of dignity that distracted from the smell of Febreze and sweat and gag-spit.  
Pyrrha sat, and Ozpin began.  
“Congratulations on advancing to the final round of the tournament. Tea?”  
“T-thank you, Professor,” Pyrrha smiled, “My team is very excited. And, yes, I’ll have some.”  
She lifted a cup from the table. They toasted and drank. Pyrrha tried to talk again, but she was distracted by a scuffle behind her. Qrow had lunged for the lizard and got a finger stuck in a gear. He pulled it back and quietly swore. Ozpin covered for him.  
“Well, it comes as no surprise that your team chose you to move on to the final round of the tournament. Your performance has been exemplary.”  
Qrow swore again, and the lizard leaped onto the floor and scurried across it. Qrow sprinted to catch it, but Pyrrha was turning in her seat. Qrow skidded to a stop at a pillar and leaned against it, his arms folded and face collected. Aside from the noises and his sudden appearance, Pyrrha saw nothing out of the ordinary.  
Qrow looked at Pyrrha. Pyrrha turned back to Ozpin.  
“Um, thank you, Professor Ozpin. But I would never have made it this far without my teammates.”  
“Personally, I think it’s the other way around,” Qrow snarked.  
Pyrrha turned in her seat to face Qrow again. In her blind spot, Ozpin lifted his hands and mouthed, “What the fuck, man.”  
“I’m sorry,” Pyrrha said, “But I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.”  
She set her tea down and stood to face him.  
“The name’s Qrow,” Qrow said.  
“Qrow is a… trusted colleague of mine,” Ozpin explained.  
Pyrrha turned back to Ozpin. In her blind spot, Qrow cupped his chest and mouthed, “Holy shit!”  
Ozpin was a master. His face stayed straight. Pyrrha looked worried.  
“Professor, if you don’t mind me asking… Why have you called me here?”  
“Please. Take a seat.”  
He gestured, and Pyrrha obeyed. She sipped her tea again.  
Ozpin asked, “What is your favorite fairy tale?”  
“I’m… Sorry?”  
She sipped again. Ozpin took a gulp of his.  
“Fairy tales,” he explained, “Stories from your childhood. Surely, you must remember some of them.”  
Pyrrha’s cheeks flushed. She smiled suddenly, and her pupils expanded in joy.  
“Well,” she said excitedly, “There’s the tale of the two brothers. The Shallow Sea. The Girl in the Tower.”  
“What about the story of the seasons?” Ozpin interrupted.  
“Oh! Of course!”  
Her pupils expanded further. Ozpin envied that enthusiasm. He hoped his acid would kick in faster. Pyrrha began the story.  
“A callous old man, who refuses to leave his home, is visited by four travelling sisters…”  
Ozpin planted his cheek on his hand and listened. It usually didn’t’ take this long. Maybe Glynda forgot the double hit. By the end of the story, Ozpin had finished his tea and was a little annoyed. Oh well, he thought, the show must go on.  
“My mother loves that story,” Pyrrha finished.  
Ozpin nodded. It was time to strike.  
He said, “Would you believe me if I told you that one’s been around since I was a boy?”  
Pyrrha laughed.  
“You’re not that old, professor.”  
“Well,” he whispered, “Would you believe me if I told you it was true?”  
Pyrrha’s pupils dilated further. Ozpin thought, she reminds me of that kangaroo that stole all my acid in Vacuooooh my god. Ozpin looked down into his empty tea cup. He realized why the acid wasn’t kicking in.  
“I… Beg your pardon?” Pyrrha trembled.  
Behind her, the lizard scooted across the floor. It was pushing backwards, dragging the bag of cocaine by its mouth. Ozpin kept Pyrrha’s attention.  
“What if I were to tell you that there were four maidens in this world that could wield such tremendous power, without dust?”  
Pyrrha was catching on to something. She wasn’t sure what. But she stayed in the conversation.  
“You mean like a semblance?”  
Ozpin tilted his head into a serious, menacing glare.  
“Like… Magic,” he hissed.  
Pyrrha gasped.  
“I-“  
“Yeah,” Qrow interrupted, “First time hearing it’s pretty crazy.”  
“You’re serious?” she asked Ozpin.  
And this was Ozpin’s greatest moment. He looked her dead in the eyes. Without flinching. Without backing down. Without a single tell, he said, “Do I look like I’m joking?”  
Pyrrha held her hands to her mouth.  
“Why… Why are you telling me this?”  
“We’re telling you, Pyrrha Nikkos, because we believe that you are next in line to receive the Fall Maiden’s powers.”  
The elevator chimed. Pyrrha turned to see who was entering, and Ozpin took the opportunity to tuck his twelve inch hard-on into his waistband. Glynda and Ironwood stepped into the room. Ironwood still looked completely out of place, but his uniform was ruffled enough that he’d clearly been convinced to play along.  
“Sorry we’re late,” he grumbled.  
Pyrrha understood now that the situation was as real and serious as Ozpin had indicated. It seemed, from her perspective, that the two human-sized lizards disguised as Ironwood and Glynda were proof of this. They gestured into the elevator. Pyrrha gaped at them in horror.  
“Wait,” she trembled, “What is this? Who are you?”  
Lizard-Glynda said, her voice Omni-present and reassuring, “You know who we are. We’re still the same teachers and headmasters you met when you arrived at Beacon.”  
The giant Crow in the room said, “Except we’ve got a little part time job.”  
Lizard-Ironwood said, his voice cosmic and booming, “We are the protectors of this world.”  
Pyrrha turned back to Ozpin. The foundations of Remnant were shaking. He was a being of pure energy. He said, “And we need your help.”  
They were suddenly into the elevator, as if all of reality were an internet show, and the director had cut to the next scene.  
Pyrrha asked, “Where are we going?”  
Ozpin realized at this point that Pyrrha was probably about to have the wildest night of her life. Instead of mentioning the demon spiders, he said to her, “The Vault. Below the school.”  
He pushed the button for one floor down. Qrow and Glynda snickered. Ironwood whispered, “Is she drugged?”  
Pyrrha hyperventilated. She slowly turned a look over her shoulder, until she met eyes with Ironwood and seemed to go into a full-scale panic. She looked at the door in front of her and hugged herself. When it opened, the group walked into the facilities maintenance floor.  
“I’m sure you must have questions,” Glynda said.  
“Maybe one or two,” Pyrrha whimpered.  
“I still don’t understand. You said I was next in line to receive the Maiden’s power. What do you mean by that?”  
Ironwood watched Glynda- the same puritanical woman he’d dated, the same whore who could pocket Ozpin’s famously girthy dick in complete silence- He watched her take on the role of someone who was totally serious and important.  
She launched into a spiel that was entirely believable in its complexity.  
“The maidens have existed for thousands of years. But much like in nature, the seasons change. No two summers are alike. When a maiden dies, her power leaves her body and seeks out a new host, ensuring that the seasons are never lost and that no individual can hold onto the power forever.”  
Pyrrha looked at the floor. She was having trouble walking. She looked back into Glynda’s eyes.  
“So, how does the power choose?”  
Qrow, unimpressed with the technical and detailed end of the prank, mumbled, “Through a series of stupid and convoluted rules.”  
“Qrow,” Glynda hissed.  
“Hey, don’t be mad because I’m right.”  
Glynda growled, but she carried on with a bunch of mumbo jumbo shit that only Pyrrha seemed to think made sense. Ozpin, meanwhile, escorted everyone along the green corridor to a break room with a broken light. He opened the refrigerator and pulled an inflatable sex doll out of it. Pyrrha gasped. Ozpin stopped, surprised, and looked at her.  
“Yes?” he asked.  
Pyrrha pointed at the doll.  
“I-is that… ?”  
Everyone looked at the doll. Someone had slapped a nametag on it.  
“Amber?” Ozpin read aloud.  
Pyrrha looked at him with complete shock and fear across her face. She said, “Oh my god. That’s the fall Maiden.”  
There were a lot of directions Ironwood could go from there, including jail. But Ironwood decided on, “We’re using state of the art Atlas technology to keep her stable.”  
Ozpin and Qrow winked at their new best friend. Glynda beamed. Ozpin pulled two bottles of Vodka from the fridge and put Amber back inside. He closed it, and let Pyrrha place her hand over the fridge in adoration.  
“Oh my goodness,” she breathed.  
“Oh yes,” Ozpin encouraged.  
“She’s dying,” Qrow said.  
“And when she dies, the rest of her power will go to the person who attacked her,” Glynda nodded.  
“She’s bad,” Qrow supplied.  
“Oh no,” Pyrrha said.  
Ozpin was too busy with vodka chugging to add anything. He halved the bottle and tossed it to Glynda. Ironwood watched her open her mouth the way a snake unhooks its jaw. She didn’t wait for gravity to dump the vodka in her. She stuffed the bottle into her throat and sucked it dry in seconds.  
Ironwood gaped.  
“God damn,” Qrow said in admiration.  
Glynda beamed.  
“My first boyfriend was a horse faunus.”  
“Oh, I already have a boyfriend,” Pyrrha said.  
She hugged the refrigerator.  
“Please don’t make me steal her soul,” she whimpered.  
“It’s the only way,” Qrow sighed.  
“What a shame,” Ozpin nodded.  
He checked his watch and added, “Anyway, good luck in the finals round, Pyrrha. Try not to hallucinate or anything.”  
They stuffed her into the elevator and pushed all of the buttons.


End file.
